Wednesday, May 12, 2010

#180: Saturday Night At The Movies

I went and saw a movie last night – big shock eh? Before the movie there was the usual amount of crap previews, including Robin Hood. So what? It’s Robin Hood. The movie has been done to death since the 1930s, with Hoods such as Errol Flynn, Sean Connery, Carey Ewes, Kevin Costner and quite possibly a pack of other Hoods that I can’t be bothered remembering. Frankly Costner was one of the worst Hoods I’ve ever seen, and the apologists excuse for his accent (that being that the English language was quite different back then so an American accent wouldn’t have been out of the question) is just a large, stinking pile really. But there you have it.

The new Hood, as I’ve mentioned previously, is none other than Russell Crowe. Directed by Ridley Scott, the preview looks much like Gladiator Part II, but, hey, I’ll probably go and see it. I’m always up for escapism.

What stuns me though is the practice of going to the cinema to see a movie that you know you’re going to hate before you’ve walked in. I’ve done that more than once (free tickets every time), and I do try to avoid it, and I don’t understand why people continue to pay for the privilege to do it. They’re not being paid to go; they’re not doing professional reviews. They seem to go with the sole purpose of working themselves into a righteous rage and having something to whinge about. Why? If you know you’re going to abhor something so much then why suffer through it? I know people who are almost violently opposed to Crowe as Hood, as they can’t get past their own favourite (I personally lean towards the animated Hood, followed by Connery and then Flynn, but that’s because I saw them in that order) and will go and see the new Hood, as they claim, ‘under duress’.

‘Under duress’? Is someone holding a gun to their heads? Is someone whacking the arms up in an arm lock, grabbing people in a full nelson and forcing them to go to the cinema, where they then prop their eyes open with a machine akin to that used in Clockwork Orange and make them watch the movie? Are drugs involved? Are people being held hostage somewhere – “Watch a double bill of The Avengers and Waterworld or I’ll kill your mother!”? I mean, what makes a person go to the cinema and pay good money to watch something that they know they’re going to hate before they walk in?


Seriously, if you know that you’re not going to like Crowe as Hood for any reason – be it that you can’t get past Flynn, or you think it’s going to be another Gladiator – then here’s your out – DON’T GO. Simply stay at home, or see something that you’re fairly sure that you’ll enjoy. It’s not rocket science. Really, it isn’t. Just don’t go.  Grab a DVD, watch some TV, spend some time with someone else (*gasp*) or surf the net and download porn for all I care.  Just don't go, and if you do, don't whinge to people that you went and saw a movie you knew you were going to hate before you walked in.

I mean, how bloody hard is it?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have one factor you apparently haven't considered: access. I literally get to go to the movies approximately once a year. Three years go the only opportunity I had was Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I'd seen the first one only on tv, and my partner had seen neither of the other two. And everyone else seemed to have free tickets. Crappy film, crappy experience.

What I don't get is people saying something's wrong in a fictional film. While it may be a fun game it's ultimately futile. It's about as correct as the author made it, I'd say. ~ Martin