Sunday, May 02, 2010
#173: Quiet Storm
Still looking for a job? Never let it be said that I'm nothing but helpful. There is work out there if you really want it. Otherwise there's always the army. After all they'll take anyone who hasn't got broken legs. The more psychopathic the better. Actually, that's not as true as it sounds. When I went to school, back in the 1780s+, we had a guy who had been held back in year 12, I think, which is where I first met him. Large guy, head full of acne and a gingernut to boot. He wore army gear all the time (which, combined with his tight curly hair, made him look somewhat like an overgrown Brussel Sprout topped with tomato sauce) and would play military games, such as a Star Trek one where you had to blow up Klingons. He used to get frustrated with me because I'd attempt to crash the Enterprise into any number of asteriods, Klingon ships or worm holes. Then he'd try and play Dungeons and Dragons, but, to be honest, I was more interested in spending time with girls than I was spending Saturday evenings with boys trying to kill Frodo, and I took delight in upsetting him by bringing pizza and 1970s porn videos to Dungeons and Dragons nights (for reasons that will not become clear later on, he had an issue with boy on girl sex in any form).
What,s that you say? They don’t they do any of that now? Hey, it was over a million years ago^. Poor old Montezuma, he was finally rejected for good, on the fifteenth attempt, and his file was stamped, “Too mentally unstable for active duty”. Or so he proudly told us all. "I'm too fucking violent for the army," he stated, "they're afraid of me." Personally I think he failed because he was a great fat bastard, but I could be wrong as he was a bit of a nut job. Either way I lost track of him once I left school behind, but then again I lost track of everyone I went to school with, and with good reason. I suspect that they didn’t like me anymore than I liked them*^.
Such is life. In a perfect world Montezuma would have gotten into the army and spent twenty years as a private before being killed somewhere in the Middle East, but, alas, that is the stuff that dreams are made of.
+an approximate time, not actual time
*more on these idiots later
^ see +
*^ see * for a partial reason