Sunday, May 02, 2010

#174: (Everything I Do) I Do It For You

We wandered down to the local cinema last night to watch some more pap, in this case the surprisingly not too bad Iron Man II.  A movie that won't win any awards, but then again Citizen Kane only won one Oscar as well.   Not that I'm conmparing Iron Man II with Citizen Kane.  I mean, any movie with Mickey Rouke in it isn't going to be all that good, but, oddly enough, it's not bad.  Really.  Poor old Mickey, he was good looking once and could act.  These days he merely mumbles his way through movies, gives tantalising glimpses of what once was and what could have been and has Hollywood at his feet.  Let's be honest here, The Wrestler was two hours too long, boring as batshit and poorly acted.  But Mick got the nod for Best Actor, mainly because he wasn't dead yet, and Hollywood admire flawed people.  For proof look at Roman Polanski.  If you or I piled a thirteen year old girl with booze and drugs and anally raped her in a spa then we'd be labelled a rock spider for life, spend some serious time in jail and go straight onto the sex offenders list.  And rightly so.  In Hollywood they give you a Best Director Oscar, millions of dollars and celebrate you worldwide.

I'm repeating myself.  Still it was good to see names in the credits of the movie of people I actually know and, in one case, spoke to on Friday.  No, really, I do mix with the famous, only not in the film set, and no, they're not the piss boys either.  Creators.  I know the creator of the Crimson Dynamo personally, amongst other people names in the credits, so bash that up your coight.

What gave me cause for concern, and nearly ruined the entire evening, was the trailer for the new Robin Hood movie, starring the Shirty, The Slightly Aggressive Bear.  Now I know that Shirty went on to win an Oscar of his own, and it appears that he's merely revisiting that character - the Gladiator, not Shirty.  Still, I'd love to see ole Shirty again...

So why did the trailer upset me to the point of yelling at the screen?  Easy answer that - the distinct lack of Sir Hiss.  As anyone who has seen the classic Robin Hood movie knows, without Sir Hiss the film falls apart.  After all it's Hiss who hypnotises the King and ensures victory, plus, without Hiss to tie in knots, what will Shirty do?

There was a real chance for Ridley Scott to make this a movie to remember, but, alas, with Sir Hiss the movie will merely be, well, possibly not that bad.  But guys, seriously, give me Sir Hiss any day of the week.  Still, it could be worse, Robin Hood, an Englishman, might have a broad American accent...and absolutely no acting ability at all.  But then that's already been done, hasn't it?

So, let's be honest here, if you're in a jam and need to get out of it, who do you want in your corner?  Which Robin is the king of your own Hood?

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