Tuesday, May 11, 2010

#179: Def Con One

And people wonder why Americans are so fat and unhealthy. Here’s just four reasons why. According to a friend of mine, the first effort comes from, “…Thurman's Cafe. The place was seen on MAN VS. FOOD for their huge portions. Here's the Salsa Burger. I figured it would be a patty with some salsa. This was two large patties on Texas Toast and covered in Salsa, with fries on the side! I did end up eating one patty and had to scrape a lot of the salsa off as it was just too much, even for one patty. Ate the fries though - which were great.”

They also sell the disgusting burger you see here, the 4.5 Pounder. “You wouldn't believe the fried cheese burger we saw in Florida,” I was then told, “I’m sorry we didn't take a picture of it. 2 huge hunks of brie deep-fried and put on the burger.”

Jesus.  Do people know that what they're eating is killing them, and not slowly and certainly not silently.

This last burger comes via a mob called In’N'Out. It costs $200 and measures an entire meter. A frigging metre. But what amazes me the most is that these examples aren’t abnormal, if anything they ARE the norm. Thank Christ this country hasn’t gotten into this kind of exhibitionism just yet, but what makes this even more obscene is the sheer amount of waste that must result from these monstrosities. If anyone ate a metre of greasy food I’m betting that they’re going to be having some serious health issues to deal with in a very short while. And if they don’t eat it all, then in the bin it goes (frankly I doubt that anyone could eat that shit without it going cold first). Some people look at such burgers as a challenge, I look at it and nearly weep – the amount of people that could be fed with all that food is just mind boggling, and, further to that, it’s obscene. Just obscene.

Americans at the moment are fighting with each other over the introduction of a universal health care system, kind of like our own Medicare. Some Americans have clearly been brainwashed and believe that a universal health care system will result in communism and that all people should only be able to access health on a user pays system. Great. I see fast food like that and I can’t help but wonder where the push against the proposed health care reforms are really coming from. You eat that and I’m betting that hardened arteries, congestion, heart disease, high cholesterol and obesity will be the least of your issues. I’d not be surprised if you woke up in intensive care.

Wake up…just…wake up already. That food is just wrong on so many levels. No wonder some people see shows like The Simpsons as cutting edge satire and a pseudo-documentry.

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