Friday, November 05, 2010

#222: Come On Aussie, Come On

I know exactly what the Australian cricket team is missing these days – Rodney Fuckin’ Hogg. Pure and simple.

Ole Rodney wasn’t afraid to get stuck into the opposition on the ground, hell, he wasn’t afraid to get stuck into his own team-mates and even the captain on the ground, famously known for inviting then Australian captain Graeme Yallop to pop round the back of the Adelaide Oval stands to sort out a few issues, and taking a swing at later captain Kim Hughes. Mind you at the time he wasn’t the only one who wanted to take a swing at Hughes, the line was long and illustrious, and included the likes of Dennis Lillee and Rodney Marsh.

Hogg entered the test cricketing arena during the 1978/79 season and, in doing so, managed to end the career of one of the opposition. Clive Radley was an English test player who played all eight of his tests in 1978 before he met Hogg. Radley debuted against New Zealand at Christchurch in February 1978 and his last test was also against New Zealand, at Lords in August. Radley was then selected for the 1978/79 Ashes tour, which was expected to be a cakewalk mainly due to the fact that the country’s best players were in the employ of one Kerry Packer and were busily beating the living suitcase out of each other under the guise of playing World Series Cricket. Into this flew the English cricket team, and they lined up against South Australia for the first proper tour match, due to run from the 3rd to the 6th of November – thirty two years ago to the period. The English team clearly thought the tour match would be practice, but then they didn’t factor in one angry bastard.

As Hogg later recounted in his brilliantly hilarious book, The Whole Hogg, “I was playing for South Australia against the touring Poms in 1978/79 and like Dennis Lillee eight years earlier, when he knocked Geoff Boycott’s cap off, I needed to make an impression. I did that by felling Radley, which effectively got me a game for Australia in that series. Our selectors were looking for some pace and that one delivery promised it. Radley ended up cannoning into his stumps before being taken to hospital. I don’t reckon he played another Test, and clearly he and his wife still blame me for that. I bumped into them on the 2005 Ashes tour and I thought she was going to pour a glass of Wine over me. Clearly time hadn’t healed any wounds because he didn’t seem that pleased to see me either. Them’s the breaks.”

Brilliant. What do we have now? Players with names like Shane Watson and Mitchell Johnson. A guy called Doug Bollinger who’s more worried about his fucking wig than how well he bowls. We need help, and we need it fast. Bring back the bastard, get some mongrel into the side. Leave the missus at home, get on the piss and on the root after a game and get some bloody wickets. It’s no use looking like a mean teapot on the ground if you can’t deliver the goods, get angry and get stuck in. Knock a skull or two.

What the Australian cricket team needs are clones of Dennis Lillee, Rodney Hogg and Carl Rackermann. And soon.
From left to right: Clive Radley, Geoff Miller, Phillipe 'Husband Of Francis' Edmonds, Mike Brealey & Ken Barrington.  Taken the day Radley was felled by Hogg out the front of the old Travelodge on South Terrace, Adelaide.  Clearly these guys were bloody impressed by the classic Valiant station wagon that was laid on for them.  You can almost hear someone saying, "Yes, Ken, it's a horseless carriage and it's green." Take note of ole Phillipe Edmonds, the bastard was a poser even back then.

From left to right: Derek Randall, Bernard Thomas, Clive Radley, Graham 'Baldy' Gooch, Bob Taylor and Ken Barrington. Taken the day Radley was felled by Hogg out the front of the old Travelodge on South Terrace, Adelaide.  These photos were taken by a cricketing fan in November 1978 and haven't been seen before.  How did I get them?  None of your beeswax.

1 comment:

Puddin' Catten said...

I think that's now the Chiffley and was the Parkroyal, rather than its poor cousin the Travelodge up the Road