Saturday, January 22, 2011

#248: Smut


You see some strange things these days, but, other than the anti-wanking gloves that exist in the Melbourne prison museum, I've never seen anything quite as odd as this anti-wanking machine, which was patented way back in 1903, when the sheer thought of touching your own bits other than to hold it when the beer came out was heresy and enough to send you to hell.  I mean, in the Victorian era, nobody touched their chopper, not even the wife.  The male version of a chastity belt? Read those instructions carefully and if anyone out there can actually make one of these, then I wanna know.


The concept is simple - you put it on and when you feel the urge, your main man will go down the chute and hit the spikes.  Plus you can't actually touch your bishop, so you can't start bashing it.  From the looks of things it came in one size only - shut the fuck up and get it on you dirty bastard!  I know some politicians, media 'personalities' (hello Kochie, you freaking ambulance leaper you) and a few others that are in desperate need of one of these things, not the least these dickheads to the right, who probably single handedly invented global warming with those heads. 

A true Saturday night special.

And speaking of wankers...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just saw Mad Max again, Stubbs has an excellent early role as "bare arsed guy running" while Jim the Goose calls out "Hey fella ... you're a goose!" ~Martin