A lot of people keep asking me how am I going to vote, or at least are trying to influence my vote, tomorrow. I say to them all, forget about it. My mind is made up and I know this much – I’ll be voting for neither Labor nor Liberal, nor will I be voting for any of the minor parties. That’s right, for the first time in my life I can’t find a single candidate worthy of a vote. For once I can’t find a single redeeming feature in any of the politicians on offer and I fully agree with the words of the late Peter Cook when he stated, "Why vote? It'll only encourage them." Why is this?
Several factors have influenced me during this horrendous election campaign. I’ve seen some utterly offensive material, from the foetuses on posters and the moron who claims that they’re not what they’re clearly designed to be, the same moron who then says that women should not have any say over their own destinies or bodies – “Vote for me and abortion will be outlawed!” I wasn’t aware that it was 1932 all over again, down to the part where the candidate had his crew stake out his own posters so he could find people defacing them with the view of prosecution. So much for free speech, the candidate is an utter disgrace. And he's only one of the maddening crowd.
Labor are a joke right now. We’re told that they’ve done so much for the state and are fit to run it, when the reality is that they can’t successfully run a public transport service. If you doubt me then visit Melbourne. The public transport system there is a delight – buses, trains and tams, all running on time and indeed there’s a call for heads to roll if two trains in a row are two minutes late. Here we’re faced with buses that either never appear, or are so behind that they can be considered early in some cases. Just this morning I waited for 30 minutes in a so called ‘Go Zone’ (guaranteed buses every 15 minutes) only to be placed onto a packed bus with a driver who clearly felt that if he drove over twenty kilometres per hour then he’d be pulled over. No wonder it was late. Behind him were three other buses on the same route, all empty. Work that out. And we’re to trust the same cretins to run the state, the same idiots who believe there’s no issue with the current public tansport system? Please!
Liberal aren’t any better. They’re running on a campaign slogan of ‘Redmond Is Ready’. I have no idea what she’s ready for, because, going on her announced policies, she’s certainly not ready to run the state either. Their policies are ill thought out, and in some cases, utterly absurd. For example, as I’ve pointed out previously, their housing policy, clearly written to pander to the talkback radio crowd, advocates breaking and entering by government employees in regards to public housing. They’ve announced several policies that they’ve not costed, the ones they have come to an amazing $2,800,000,000 (that's 2.8 BILLION dollars). You can add a few more hundred million dollars to that for the policies that they've announced that they've not costed, but then the Liberals are throwing policies around like a pack of grannies throwing their undercrackers at a Tom Jones concert. What’s the bet none of them will go ahead? As sure as Geelong will play in the AFL finals this season. What makes it even worse is that one of their star candidates is none other than a former Federal minister who once took her boyfriend to France for a birthday dinner. At the taxpayers expense. At the same time the minister left her husband at home. Who knew nothing about what was going on. And the minister knew full well that the boyfriend was the lead suspect in a high profile murder case. You know the one, it was in the papers recently when the boyfriend sued a few media outlets for defamation, and lost, and had the police admit, yet again, under oath, that he was still the lead suspect in a high profile murder case. And the Liberals put this person up as a bastion of family values. Next we’ll be hearing that Kinko The Clown is going to head up Child’s Services and Brendan Abbott will be in charge of Correctional Services.
The minor parties are full of the usual F’Tang F’Tang Ole Biscuit Barrels, aka Candidates Without A Clue. The only ones that remain consistent are the Marijuana Party, aka HEMP, who keep advocating dope for all. Considering some of the insane announcements from all parties I can’t help but think they got what they were asking for. Gone are the days when we'd seen candidates with names like Snake Plissken, now they're all hyphenated, wear suits and take themselves very seriously and a vote for any of these idiots (minor parties) is a wasted vote anyway, the way the political system is structured in this country there is no such thing as a viable third party – we operate on a two party system, hence a vote for a minor party is a vote for one of the majors, it just depends on where the preference is aligned to. The best that a minor party can offer is entertainment and novelty value, past that there’s nothing. If they do win office they’re generally too stunned to be effective, or make deals to become speaker of the house and ultimately show us the depths of their mental illnesses. Brilliant. In the meantime we have a member of the Family First party being accused of being a deadbeat dad by a daughter that he claims isn’t his, along with another kid that he wants blood tests for, but admits that he has sired seven kids and possibly an eight, somewhere, and has another four that he’s adopted. That’s family first alright, leading by example. God help us all, as the bar hasn’t been lowered for candidates, it’s been removed completely and the lunatics are merely walking through the dust. It appears that if you can speak, sprout buzzwords and haven’t got any real opinions then you’re prime for pre-selection.
So what is the answer? Strong leadership would be the first place to start. I can’t find a single person that trusts the incumbent leadership, and that has nothing to do with any alleged affairs he might have, or not of had, at any point in his life. He’s not trusted due to recent displays of arrogance. There’s no independent corruption commission in this state because the Premier doesn’t deem such an agency necessary. This is despite the several examples of cronyism that can be found in various departments, ranging from Workcover through to Correctional Services and beyond. Nothing amiss there, naturally, but a lot of people have been able to set themselves up very nicely over the past decade solely by cashing in on their contacts. And let’s not mention ministers who remain in office after committing crimes that would see the general public locked up for a long time. Nothing amiss there either. And they wonder why the faith has been lost, or perhaps they don’t. There’s denial on many levels with this election campaign.
Is there a strong leader in the wings? Funnily enough there is on both sides. On the side of Labor the strong leader is a guy who was banished to the backbench a while back for being too pro-active and actually apologising for a very public mistake, which wasn’t his doing. You can work out who he is, needless to say I’d vote for him. For the Liberals the strong leader is whiling his days away contemplating a run as Lord Mayor of Adelaide, an utter waste of his political nonce and international experience and contacts. The Libs would do worse than to entice the guy out of retirement, ask him to stand, and he’d win, and then unite the party, which, funnily enough, he could easily do. He might have been a laughing stock at the Federal level, but at the State level I firmly believe he could easily do the job and be a benefit for the state, if only to bring some sanity to the state, the first such sanity for a long time.
God help me for saying this, but Alexander Downer and Jay Weatherall, for Christs sake, please step forward – this state desperately needs you both to take a hands on approach. Storm the gates of Parliament and bring us back to our rightful glory before it’s far too late. I know that Downer is considered to be a joke in a lot of circles, but step back just for a second and think, can you think of anyone in the Federal arena who was as passionate about South Australia as he? And as for Weatherall, we all know the main reason why he was dumped - he was becoming a bit too popular...time to seize the day matey! As bad as each of them might be, they are the best out of a bunch of coconuts and would clearly do more than any of the peanuts that we have to pick from this coming Saturday.
So I won't vote, but that doesn't mean I won't make my mark in the box. Watch this space.