What have I done at parties? Depends on the era, the state of mind, the amount and quality of booze I've ingested, if there was any other substance involved and if I was depressed or happy. They're called factors, Max. For example, when I was younger I'd merely drink, sing at the top of my lungs, have a fight, dance and do stupid things like drink an entire bottle of Heinz Big Red on a $50 bet - and I collected. Lovely stuff, that sauce. I used to get it on with females. As I got older I stopped the fighting and stupid things, got drunk, sang at the top of my lungs and had fun with females. After a while I'd merely sit back and watch others make utter clowns of themselves. And with good reason.
|Crazy Cat Lady|
On May 1, 2011, at approximately 1:30 a.m., there were several persons present on the outside deck of the ATO fraternity house located on 5' Avenue in Huntington. The ATO had a "house party," and various persons, including Defendant Hughes and Plaintiff, congregated at the ATO house. Several of the people in attendance at said house party were under the legal drinking age, including Defendant Travis Hughes. Most of the persons in attendance at said house party were also consuming alcohol with the full knowledge and consent of the ATO fraternity.
Upon information and belief, Defendant Hughes was an ATO fraternity member on May 1, 2011. 7. Plaintiff was also present, along with his girlfriend, at the ATO house on May 1, 2011 at the aforementioned time.
Defendant Hughes was highly intoxicated on this date and time, and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus on the ATO deck, located on the back of the ATO house.
Upon information and belief, there were several other ATO fraternity members on the deck at the time of this incident, including one or more officers of the fraternity. Plaintiff and his girlfriend were also present on the ATO deck.
Defendant Hughes placed a bottle rocket in his anus, ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in Defendant's rectum, and this startled plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent to the deck.
There was no railing on said deck at the time of the incident. Upon information and belief, the lack of a railing had existed for at least several months, if not years, before the incident. Upon further information and belief, the deck never had a railing when it was installed, or any time thereafter. The subject deck was approximately 3-4 feet high.
By this stage, if you have any form of intelligence, you'd be wondering if this is true - sadly it is, and it's more proof why the American legal system is fucked. Even worse, America, meet the next leaders of your land. College students, if you're not bright enough to know that it's not a good idea to stick an explosive up your arse, quit now. Just quit. Or go for a higher grade of explosive, like a stick of TNT. That makes a good sound when it goes off. Suing someone because you were so startled at the sight of a firecracker exploding in another persons arse that you went over the edge of a deck and got wedged between the air-con and a wall is a bit insane really. I don't know about you, but I'm still be laughing at all of that - and I'm sure it'll turn up in the next Adam Sandler movie. Hell, it'd be funnier than the shit he's pumped out lately.
|When Harry lit his farts, people knew about it.|