The Continuing Adventures Of Your Own Personal Jesus

I continually ask myself, what is it with people who seek rental properties that are way out of their league? It doesn’t make a lick of sense to me, but then that might be due to me having a small degree of common sense. In the past few months I’ve seen people who commonly present with the same problems – they pay too much rent and refuse to acknowledge it, to the point of eviction. And therein lies the biggest problem of them all, because once you’re evicted then you’re more than likely to be added to a blacklist, where your name will remain forever (or until it’s removed). Each land agent and most landlords check the blacklist every time they receive an application for a rental property and if you’re on that list then you might as well not bother. The agent or landlord will always, and I mean ALWAYS, plump for the cleanskin of a tenant over damaged goods, no matter how good your reason is. And allow me to digress for a short second. We all know about the tenant blacklist but I can’...

Back in the Ages Of Dark I worked in one of those annoying call centres - you know, the ones that ring your grandmother and force her to accept an appointment to have her roof cleaned even though she either doesn't want, nor need it and is senile and can't recall who just lifted a few grand from her bank account. Nice guys we were and the stories I could tell! Lord! The people I worked with were the usual damaged goods one finds in such working 'environments' but one lady was a classic. She never had any money and stated that she was saving it for a trip. However, and no-one ever connected this series of dots, essentials like toilet paper and the like would often run out constantly. I believed that someone was stealing the odd roll, as does happen, but it was revealed when our pal announced at a staff meeting that she had saved enough money to fly return to Perth. The manager stood up and made a speech about how inspiring she was, how she'd saved all this money to...

Tigger Comes To Work For The Government CHAPTER TWO: Piglet The Skanky Workplace Bully Piglet had never worked in the Hundred Acre Wood before she aced the job interview. Piglet had worked in such places as the Magic Faraway Tree, Bee Club and had even worked, for a time, in Narnia, which was a definite coup. But Piglet, despite having never worked in the Wood managed to ace her interview by saying exactly the right thing at exactly the right time. Piglet was just too impressive when she opened her mouth to talk and had a certain charm and saviour faire about her that held her good stead. Piglet wasn’t quietly confident, indeed you could say that nothing about Piglet was quiet, Piglet was very, very loudly confident. Piglet knew her place and was going to make sure that everyone else knew as well. You see, Piglet didn’t take no gruff when she decided top strut her stuff. Good ole Piglet. Piglet soon settled into the Wood and, as was the custom, was assigned to Tigger. This was ...

Tigger Comes To Work For The Government CHAPTER ONE: Tigger Gets Shafted “Bouncy bouncy bouncy!” squealed Tigger, as he bounced over to where Pooh stood. “Gosh I feel great,” he said, “because I have a job to go to and it's a job that not only can I do well, but I really, really enjoy doing. In this day and age there’s plenty of unemployed people and those who are stuck in dead end jobs. Not me! My, am I so utterly grateful!” “Well done Tigger,” said Pooh, “now you can just fuck off as your contract has been rescinded. Get your shit and get out.” Poor Tigger. He can’t win. Tigger managed to land a job via the notice of vacancies a long while ago. Tigger came third on the merit list. The merit list is an odd thing, people are ranked primarily on how they present at an interview. It doesn’t matter if they have zero experience in the job they’re applying for, as long as they sound professional then they’ll win the long term and permanent positions. Having a sound backgr...