The Continuing Adventures Of Your Own Personal Jesus

What can anyone say about Grenville Dietrich that hasn't already been suppressed by the courts under defamation laws?  Well, quite a lot really.  I remember seeing Grenville line up for North Adelaide after sharing quite a few ales with him the night before at a nightclub owned by a guy who used race Speedway cars on Friday nights.  I say the night before, but I'm being quite kind here; we stopped drinking at around 5am, whereupon Grenville tried to chat my mother up and duly lined up for North Adelaide at around 1:30pm the same day.  He ambled out onto the ground, took his position, attacked the ball, kicked a goal and promptly spewed his guts up.  And they were quite considerable guts indeed. Grenville got his start with Richmond, but ended up at North Adelaide.  Richmond were more than satisfied with the bald headed goal kicking machine that they had in the form of Kevin Bartlett, and, let's be frank here, once Kevin got the ball nobody else touched ...

People often ask me, who was the King of the Duds when it comes to AFL.  Could it be Port Adelaide's Matthew Westoff?  Romano Negri? Could it be someone like David Gallagher, who was a dud at two clubs?  Or someone else?  Well, to that I say no, because those duds played the game at AFL level - even duds like Adam Saliba and Jim West played at least one game.  I hear you utter names like Trevor Clisby, who never played a game despite being on an AFL list, but he was only ever drafted by one club. The King of all Duds has to surely be this guy - Darren Bartsch.  You may rightly ask who.  Bartsch was drafted by West Coast Eagles, but he stayed in Adelaide, conversely David Hynes, one of the best ruckmen that Port Adelaide produced in the 1980s, went over to the Eagles at the same time that Bartsch was drafted to be rewarded with a premiership medallion.  If, as is claimed, that grand finals are won and lost in the ruck, then Hynes was a bette...