The Continuing Adventures Of Your Own Personal Jesus

A while back a close pal of mine asked me what I thought the most perfect album released was. I answered, as I always do, without any hesitation, “In my own worthless opinion, What’s Going On by Marvin Gaye is the best album ever released.” My pal took this in but still thinks that Exile On Main Street is a killer. And it is. To use the cliché, it’s a motherfucker of an album that still holds up, and the recently released outtakes are incredible. They’d be any other band’s hit singles. Then I was asked, what’s the most perfect song ever released? I began to ponder, but in my pondering I already knew the answer. Then it hit me like a studded cattle prod up the Gary Glitter, and it said, “This is an opening verse that Mick Jagger WISHES he was good enough to have written.” We can dance if we want to, And leave your friends behind. ‘Cause your friends don’t dance And if they don’t dance Well they’re no friends of mine. Good music comes in all shapes and forms, but ultimately it’s ...

And I quote from the comments on this fine piece of country music, "It's like an atomic bomb of shit detonating directly on my eyeball."  Amen brother, amen.  May no-one ever allow this man near a microphone again.  Fucker scared all of my cats when he started wailing, dogs were howling four streets across and several little old ladies phoned the police and reported an escaped lunatic who they believed was acting like a werewolf. Having said that, ladies, if you're looking for the perfect gift then go no futher than this: It's a shame that Benny Hill didn't think of this, he'd have a field day with it, as it was he had to be content with smacking the shit out Jackie Wright and thus inventing the expression, 'slaphead', which is now in common usage to define bald headed old bastards who refuse to wear a syrup, much like all of my brothers.

Looks good, doesn't it? An Australian Beatles Programme for the 1964 tour, you know the one - the only time they ever visited the country and the source of an ongoing feud between Ernest Sigley and Robert Francis. But seriously, this isn't the original programme, it's a lovely reproduction that was issued in 2004, to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the tour. The reproduction is perfect in every way, and to ensure that people aren't fooled and ripped off into paying the few hundred that an original programme costs, it actually has text detailing the reproduction on the rear cover. Still it's a great artefact to own and if you can't afford an original, then this is the next best thing to have. How much do they cost?  Depends on who you buy it from and where you find it.  Amazingly I found three brand new ones this morning at one of the many trash and treasures that are held around Adelaide for a whopping $5 each.  That's right, three of them for $15 al...

Back in my former career as an Occupational Egg Beater I had the chance to present a radio show here in Adelaide on a major radio station. The show ran every Thursday evening and I’d talk about all kinds of crap and interview all kinds of people, some good, some, well, not so good. As always, the best stories came when we went off the air and were over at the pub, but, as any Lunchtime O’Booze will tell you, that’s generally when the good stuff is spilt, both in and out of the glasses. As we’re dealing with many things Adelaide, I’ll share a couple of the stories that were told to me off air. One such story involved the band The Masters Apprentices. I’m not going to name names here, but one evening we had three of the Masters, two via a phone hook-up and one live in the studio. The Live Apprentice was a damned good guy indeed, very happy, quick of wit and somewhat pleased that we’d managed to dig out some really obscure stuff of his to showcase over the past few months. Good gu...

You just don't see these kinds of things anymore.  A classic souvenir of the Majestic Cinema, dated 1942, but then you don't see too many cinemas in Adelaide anymore either.  Sadly it seems that crappy hotel chains have moved in, pulled the best ones down and put up bloody great buildings that block out the sun in a park for the bulk of the day. But that's progression for you. Some made out like a bandit on that deal.  It was probably a better deal than seeing Lucky Jordan, a movie so forgettable that it doesn't even turn up on the community TV channel, ACE TV, let alone Channel 7's Midday Movie these days. Still, Alan Ladd was Shane and he did pop up at the end of Citizen Kane, not that you were aware of it, but trust me, he's there, the bloody midget, and he did make an impact in This Gun For Hire.  This card is probably life sized, the sawed off little high heel wearing, box standing bastard.  I never rated Ladd as an actor, other than about three mo...

Like anyone who is over the age of 40 I grew up watching both The Addams Family and the Munsters. Loved them both. The Munsters rocked in the vehicle department, but the Addams Family had something special – Morticia Addams. I didn’t know, at the time, but I always preferred watching the Addams Family. For years I thought it might be due to the insane sense of humour, or perhaps the gothic setting, beats me. But then I had the chance to see and meet John Astin, aka Gomez Addams, aka Evil Roy Slade, doing his brilliant one-man Edgar Allan Poe show here and was enthralled. After the show I waited by the stage door and got the chance to meet him and got some stuff signed, along with a number of other people. Astin was lovely; he made a point of talking to everyone, signing everything that he was asked to and posing for photos. He might have been a television star, but he was a major star in my eyes – hell, it was GOMEZ! The proper Gomez at that. When he reached me we got to talking ab...

The things you find when you buy a lot of stuff without seeing. In a recent lot of what was otherwise garbage these little historical artefacts emerged. The first is a letter of thanks to the Adelaide band The Macmen. According to Dean Mittelhauser’s excellent article from the The Livin’ End #3, “The In-Sect originally formed in Adelaide around 1961 as Dave Thunder & The Macmen (although there was no one in the band called Dave Thunder.) The band’s early members included Tony Martin and Simon Paul (who later wrote their two classic punkers.) The band played the local dance scene for the few years, and by late 1965, their line-up had stabilised at: Frank Sebastyan (vocals), Geoff Pretty (drums), Phil Wooding (guitar), Allan Sands (bass) and Peter Manuel (organ). They released their first 45 in February ‘66, the dire “CLAP YOUR HANDS“. I say dire because it really was pretty bad and it gave little hint of the wild tracks they were later to cut. It was about this time that they became...

I never could afford to buy the Kiss comic when it was released in 1977. Hell, I was only ten years old, so it wasn't like I even knew about it, as it would have been hidden behind the Spider-Man comics and would have cost too much for me to afford on my limited funds.  Hell, when I think back to the late 1970s I think I lifted more comics than I bought, until I discovered a second hand shop down at Elizabeth South that'd sell all their comics for about five cents each, covers and no covers.  I'd grab a few bucks and go for it.  Never saw the Kiss comic though. I did read about it as I was growing up, and eventually I did finally see a copy.  I wanted it, but I wasn't about to pay the $100 that the guy who had it wanted for it.  Bastard.  So I passed.  I was gutted, but hey, such is life. When I finally got a copy I was stunned.  The art, by Alan Weiss, who is now a close pal of mine, was nothing short of amazing.  The story was, well bi...