The Continuing Adventures Of Your Own Personal Jesus

A lot of people keep asking me how am I going to vote, or at least are trying to influence my vote, tomorrow. I say to them all, forget about it. My mind is made up and I know this much – I’ll be voting for neither Labor nor Liberal, nor will I be voting for any of the minor parties. That’s right, for the first time in my life I can’t find a single candidate worthy of a vote. For once I can’t find a single redeeming feature in any of the politicians on offer and I fully agree with the words of the late Peter Cook when he stated, "Why vote? It'll only encourage them." Why is this? Several factors have influenced me during this horrendous election campaign. I’ve seen some utterly offensive material, from the foetuses on posters and the moron who claims that they’re not what they’re clearly designed to be, the same moron who then says that women should not have any say over their own destinies or bodies – “Vote for me and abortion will be outlawed!” I wasn’t aware that it wa...

I can’t say I was rightly amused when I saw the news that the son of two of the most notorious people in the state at the moment was in court charged with assault – with weapons. After all, considering that the father is now a confessed assaulter (that being he pleaded guilty to assault, so the events are no longer alleged) and the mother is a self-confessed adulterer (that being that she’s admitted to having at least one extra-martial affair, so those events are only alleged on the side of the male, but not on her side – go figure) and both parties providing the opposition party with some much needed (allegedly) free publicity in the form of a car crash on feet, there as always the chance that they’d stay in the media somehow. After all did anyone believe that the Awful Woman’s supposedly ‘last ever’ interview would be the last time we’d hear from them? Oh please! And frankly it’s getting tiresome seeing the puff pieces that are being run. I’d really like it for one of the Lunchtime O...

Way back when, and I mean really when, someone higher than I ever would be decided that the vehicles we had were merely a money pit. To that end the decision was made to flog them off to the highest bidder, with the hopes that anyone would bid. Once the wheels were set in motion action started taking place. “First things first,” said the Person In Charge, “we need to know exactly how many vehicles we’re talking about.” Having made the first move the PIC then charged the Official Vehicle Counter to, well, count them all. Now that the parameters were clearly defined and the project scoped, the OVC went in, armed with a clipboard and a few Underlings. At this stage all vehicles were garaged in the one central location, barring any vehicle that was garaged off site, always accounted for. But this time that mattered nowt. The OVC and the Underlings made their count at the end of the week, tallied their results and realised an Amazing Thing. The OVC then counted the vehicles directly and o...

Both of the election beat ups were featured in the news today for all the wrong reasons. One, the Awful Woman, was bleating on about not accepting a public apology for distress, no great surprise there. There’s a lot more to that story than we’ve been made aware, there’s money going to her from somewhere, and all will be revealed, eventually. As it stands I didn't have to wait long for yet another shot of the Awful Woman, at least this time she wasn't swinging in the trees or 'running away' from media after she's invited them around for an announcement, and fully expect to see her on a season of Dancing With The Stars by years end. If there’s any justice in the world she’ll really live up to her Warhol status and now that the fifteen minutes are up, and perhaps expire by drug overdose. The other matter dealt with an assault. I’m not going to pass any judgement on that, other than to say that the guilty plea was inevitable, and the only sensible thing to do. Why? Sim...

I laughed. I laughed so loudly that people across the building came over to see what the joke was. The joke was a press release from the Opposition party outlining a reform for the social housing system that we have here. The line that cracked me up the most came at the end of the release, and said, in part, “South Australia needs results, not spin.” BRILLIANT!! This was tacked onto a release that, at best, was mere spin and at worst, totally misleading. Why? Because the release appears to have been written to appeal to the lowest common denominator; those people that listen to talk back radio, hang onto every word by the Local Media Man and actually believe the ill-informed crap that he sprouts. The release says, in part, that, “…through a reform, over 700 currently vacant public houses would be made available to families across the state.” Yes, another reform, on top of one that we’ve just had. That’s exactly what the state, the department and the public needs – more confus...