The Continuing Adventures Of Your Own Personal Jesus

One of the hardest ways to obtain a job with the Government is via an external agency. There’s several reasons for this and right here, right now, I’ll cover a few of them. Just for the sheer hell of it all. The first thing an external agency will do is make you jump over more hurdles than a 100 metre track final. I kid you not. In a standard Government job the procedure goes something like this: you apply with a cover letter, address the J&P and include a resume. You’ll get a letter either saying your application will be considered or you’ve not made the first cut. If you make the second cut, and are shortlisted for an interview then you’ll get a letter stating so with the time of the interview. The interview will generally be a week after the letter has been sent, so you’ll get a few days to prepare, as is the wont. Do the interview and you’ll either be offered a position or not, and then offered feedback. Feedback here is an important thing and if offered then you should tak...

One of the questions I’m asked during interviews these days that often catches me off guard is a simple one, “How do I get your job?” I used to wonder the same thing, but now I just answer with a wry smile, “Trust me, you don’t want it.” That generally shuts people up and returns the attention to where it should be – on the problem at hand. It has got me wondering though, just what have I learnt about getting a Government job? Nothing. Nothing at all. With that in mind I thought I’d share some thoughts for anyone who actually reads the positions vacant sections in the newspaper and are thinking, “Jeez, I might go for that job.” Here’s the first piece of advice: if it’s a position that involves service delivery then you don’t want the job. Trust me. You don’t need the aggravation.  Sure there’s a lot of people who’ll support you, and there are free headshrinkers on hand if you need them (for a limited time only) but, for the most part you’re screwed and on your own. Deal with it. ...

Overheard on the radio the other day; CENTRELINK DUDE: Feel free to phone in and ask me anything. CALLER: Yeah, can you tell me how old a kid has to be before the parent moves from the pension to NewStart? CD: That’d be…oh, between the ages of 5 and 7. CALLER: So, 6 years old then. CD: I’d have to check that, but I think you’ll find it isn’t 6 years old; it’s between the ages of 5 and 7. --------------- CALLER TWO: This new stimulus baby payment - the one for the family tax benefit? CD: Yep. CT: How are you eligible? CD: You have to have been in receipt of FTBA in the first week of February. CT: My wife just dropped another kid two weeks ago. Can we get it? CD: Well, probably not, as the child wasn't born in January. CT: Why can't we get it retrospectively? It's not like we wanted it. Oh well, at least we get the baby bonus. CD: I'm not sure how to answer that. ------------------------------ No wonder you can’t get a straight answer from them when you ph...